Yada yada about nada

It's a little rainy here, Scott has a cold, and Mark is in a growth spurt where he likes to nurse frequently: we have lots of reasons to stay indoors for a few days.  Since that's the case, I've decided to delve into potty training.  (We'll see if Scott decides he also wants to delve in, or if we return to the diaps and resume this again next month.)  To kick off the training I bought a pack of the cutest little undies you ever did see and the last 24 hours with them have been a cycle wash, dry, and repeat.  (Teeny whitie tighties on the clothesline are even cuter than footie pajamas.)

Undies and my glasses.

Our big outing this morning was a run with the boys bundled in the Burley baby jogger.  I made it almost 4 miles and a nice rain cooled us off at the end.  My legs are happily jello-ing now, hopefully  to congeal and strengthen by the time my athletic friends, Karen and Michelle, arrive this summer.

Last bit of nada: I'm wearing skinny jeans and I love them.  They have infused me with youthfulness.

Last day of 27

Tomorrow I turn 28.  I spent some seconds today trying to figure out how I feel -- am I excited, like I was at 10?  am I feeling mature and independent, like at 21? scared because I have no idea how to handle a life and what comes next, like 25?  a little freaked out, like 27, when I realized that I was in my late twenties? -- and decided it's the first birthday in a long time that I have no strong feelings about.  I am so content in life and another year doesn't seem to change things.  There are moments when I wonder what will come of my career that-never-quite-was-and-may-never-be.  But then I remember that life is (likely) long and there is (likely) time for all that later, and if there isn't, I'm spending right now doing exactly what I want to be doing*: sitting on the floor of my kitchen while the black beans and rice cook, listening to Luke play with Mark and Scott watch his daily allotment of Sesame Street, and delaying planning my 10 year high school reunion for just a few more minutes to bring you some photos of just why I love life.

Baby smiles in front of the big red barn at the Wagner property

Peacocks at the Quadrangle in Fort Sam Houston, a park my mom used to take us to when we were kids

Daddy and son at the Quadrangle

Photo by Dad on Thanksgiving weekend that captures my life right now well: house a little messy, personal appearance not quite pulled together, but lots of smiles.  As the Velveteen Rabbit says, "When you're real, shabbiness does not matter."

Another photo by Dad of relatives who are about to move out here!  On our To-Do list so far: Yosemite summer camping, redwood and Mt Tam hike, wine country weekend, veggie shopping near Monterey ... oh, and get Karen and Daniel a couple more degrees

* see seconds 0:47 - 1:12

Lots of cute

1.  Non-profit firefoxes: http://firefoxlive.mozilla.org/

2.  3 generations of Wagner men on 4-wheelers:

3.  Footie pajamas and Superman costumes drying on the clothesline* (in JANUARY, yay California weather):

*never mind that the incident that required the washing really wasn't cute at all

When it rains it spores

Our area gets no rain at all from about May to October.  Then it pours in the winter, and we celebrate the mud with hikes and the mushrooms with festivals.  Next weekend I am excited to attend the 37th annual Santa Cruz Fungus Fair and take Mushrooms 101 to learn which little guys I can hunt around here. 

Want to come with?

Merry Christmas Eve

Right now, Luke is in bed with Scott and Mark, trying to get them to take a much needed nap.  I'm getting things ready for church tonight with Grandpa, Flash, Aunts B, K, E, & L, and "Rice" (= Uncle Ben's nickname).  We're aiming on arriving early to sing Christmas hymns with the choir.  I hope your holiday eve is just as warm and merry!

Year's end

Hi there.  Been a while without reading my monologues, huh?  This was by far the quickest year of my life.  A quick decade, really.  10 years since high school, which I am acutely aware of as I'm supposed to be meeting some former classmates in a couple weeks to plan our reunion.  We're going to get margaritas from a restaurant we loved as high schoolers and are now allowed to drink at.

So, 2 weeks left in the year.  In that time there will be a complete lunar eclipse (you should check it out Monday night), the winter solstice (which I love because it means the days will start getting longer), and the biggest, best celebration of the year.  CHRISTMAS.  Tomorrow we fly to Texas to celebrate with family.

GTT (Do any of the publically schooled Texans remember from 7th grade history class what that abbreviates?)

This year Christmas preparations have been wonderful because we have been able to talk with Scott about baby Jesus.  We have a couple little books and I found a web site explaining the life of Saint Nicholas (there's also a great Veggie Tales episode, instantly available on Netflix, for that).  Sometimes I really feel for Scott because I'm just learning how to be a mother, something I'll know how to be for Mark and any other Wagner children.  And I'm a stubborn student.

You see, one of the reasons I've been electronically absent for a while is because I am trying be a slightly more Amish-style mother.  I feel as though I have had a revelation that, rather than PARENTING, I have been mostly baby-sitting Scott.  I am a very good baby-sitter.  I entertain, distract, and enjoy my little guy.  And for quite a while, that worked pretty well.  But I have seen that I haven't been doing a great job at training him.  I use the word "train" rather than "discipline" because it's not that he's often disobeying ... it's just that I haven't taught him how to behave.  I am sorry for this and avowed to do better, and the last three days have been amazingly different.

Luke has been quite a resource because he has seen how to raise children.  Most of us haven't.  Most of us are roughly the same age as our siblings, and we baby-sit as teens, and then move far away from the previous generation and try to figure out how to raise babies all on our own in places where we only know other new parents in the same situation.  We don't recall how to parent little ones, because we can't remember being 2 and 3 ourselves.  And our parents are very kind and don't tell us what we're doing wrong.  But I'm figuring it out.  I'm happy to have Luke.  And I ENJOY my boys so much and want to do what's right, and I know God will help me find wisdom.

Something I think we are doing right: lots of weekend family hikes.  This was a twilight hike to a big oak tree swing overlooking the valley.

With love to you, dear family and friends,
Jenn

P.S. -- The best Christmas gift ever?  Daniel has been given a well-earned assignment to the Naval Postgraduate School and he and Karen will be moving to Monterey, less than 2 hours from our house!  Likely by June!  Ben and Michelle (college friends) will also be there!  As Luke says, the Golden Age of California is about to begin. 

Matisyahu

My friend just introduced me to the music of Matisyahu, who is an American Hasidic Jew reggae pop singer, which is quite a combo platter.  I'm digging it.