Year's end

Hi there.  Been a while without reading my monologues, huh?  This was by far the quickest year of my life.  A quick decade, really.  10 years since high school, which I am acutely aware of as I'm supposed to be meeting some former classmates in a couple weeks to plan our reunion.  We're going to get margaritas from a restaurant we loved as high schoolers and are now allowed to drink at.

So, 2 weeks left in the year.  In that time there will be a complete lunar eclipse (you should check it out Monday night), the winter solstice (which I love because it means the days will start getting longer), and the biggest, best celebration of the year.  CHRISTMAS.  Tomorrow we fly to Texas to celebrate with family.

GTT (Do any of the publically schooled Texans remember from 7th grade history class what that abbreviates?)

This year Christmas preparations have been wonderful because we have been able to talk with Scott about baby Jesus.  We have a couple little books and I found a web site explaining the life of Saint Nicholas (there's also a great Veggie Tales episode, instantly available on Netflix, for that).  Sometimes I really feel for Scott because I'm just learning how to be a mother, something I'll know how to be for Mark and any other Wagner children.  And I'm a stubborn student.

You see, one of the reasons I've been electronically absent for a while is because I am trying be a slightly more Amish-style mother.  I feel as though I have had a revelation that, rather than PARENTING, I have been mostly baby-sitting Scott.  I am a very good baby-sitter.  I entertain, distract, and enjoy my little guy.  And for quite a while, that worked pretty well.  But I have seen that I haven't been doing a great job at training him.  I use the word "train" rather than "discipline" because it's not that he's often disobeying ... it's just that I haven't taught him how to behave.  I am sorry for this and avowed to do better, and the last three days have been amazingly different.

Luke has been quite a resource because he has seen how to raise children.  Most of us haven't.  Most of us are roughly the same age as our siblings, and we baby-sit as teens, and then move far away from the previous generation and try to figure out how to raise babies all on our own in places where we only know other new parents in the same situation.  We don't recall how to parent little ones, because we can't remember being 2 and 3 ourselves.  And our parents are very kind and don't tell us what we're doing wrong.  But I'm figuring it out.  I'm happy to have Luke.  And I ENJOY my boys so much and want to do what's right, and I know God will help me find wisdom.

Something I think we are doing right: lots of weekend family hikes.  This was a twilight hike to a big oak tree swing overlooking the valley.

With love to you, dear family and friends,
Jenn

P.S. -- The best Christmas gift ever?  Daniel has been given a well-earned assignment to the Naval Postgraduate School and he and Karen will be moving to Monterey, less than 2 hours from our house!  Likely by June!  Ben and Michelle (college friends) will also be there!  As Luke says, the Golden Age of California is about to begin.